Whisper words of wisdom

The Beatles got it. Me... not so much. This is a concept that is hard for me to wrap my brain around. As someone who would probably be classified as more type A, letting things be does not come natural to me. I'm uptight a lot of this time. I am aware of this. I am also controlling. These qualities do not really lend themselves to allowing me to let things just sit. I don't know how to sit still very well and my brain doesn't either.

Part of it is that I like resolution. I don't really like things in my life to be hanging in limbo, whether it's a relationship status, a new turn my life is taking or even partially made plans for the night. I like answers. And solutions. I realize, though, that this sometimes makes me crazy. When there is no answer or no apparent solution I can''t force one. So I come up against the need for one and the lack there of.

I am trying really hard lately to allow myself to let things live in limbo. I'm starting to see, or maybe a better way to say is I'm starting to accept, that if I let go of some of the control and let things happen things will start to fall into place the way they are supposed to. I also also started to understand that even though I may feel like I hold all the control, some things are really out of my hands. No matter how deeply I dig in my heels or hold my breath or fight, I can't make the outcome any different than what it's supposed to be.

I am trying to learn to say "it's ok" when things don't work out the way I want them too. And that sometimes things need to be unresolved for a while until the resolution presents itself.

It's scary.When I feel like I've lost control, I feel like I'm spinning. I grasp out trying to grab ahold of anything I can get back in my control. What I'm working on now is to let things spin around me. Sit with the uncomfortable feelings and now that eventually they will pass. Anxiousness or frustration or whatever that unpleasant feeling is won't last forever. If I can get myself through it I will not only maybe be a calmer, happier person but also a stronger, more grounded person. Hopefully.